The eagle has landed

Whew!
I realized today that I have been stateside for more than 3 months.
Sometimes I think about my time in France and think... "was that me? did I really go somewhere?"

And then I remember what a beautiful healing trip it was, filled with kind loving people who helped me heal enough to be able to come home and do what I needed to do upon immediate arrival. And what an intense run that was (read shitshow). It included a move into and out of my house, a move into and out of another, as always my ever wonderful supportive friends, the intense selling, dismantling and packing  of my house, also what was the most definitely the worst 2 months of my life (someday I'll chronicle that but for now, it's enough that I survived it), and then a another move.  To a sweet and beautiful place that is part of the next chapter. (bring it!)

I have moved into, and starting in August, I will be the new innkeeper at the Williamsville Guest House. It's a small b&b in this same small village I've been drawn to for the last year and a half. It's a big old farmhouse with a wrap around porch (the ceiling is even blue which I've always coveted). This porch where I've scattered my belongings here and there to create little sitting areas and it even had hooks for my beloved porch swing (it's true, it was a wedding present, but I don't care- it was given to me with love by my best friend and it still holds me tenderly and makes me happy every time I sit in it). I've yet to really tackle the inside but I'm itching to. I have a small terrace out back where I have set up my nice old french iron table and my fountain along with dozens of my favorite plants that I couldn't leave behind. They, like me, are waiting to see if this is place where we will put down roots, possibly thrive and even flourish.

My friends' restaurant is at the end of my driveway (I believe it is the only business in town). The rock river is across the street, I can hear it gurgling all day and I especially love hearing it when all is so very quiet at night.  Apparently in a town this tiny you don't have mail delivery, you just walk yourself down along the river to your post office box. It's very quaint. I know many of my new neighbors, they've been very kind and welcoming. My new landlord is a great guy, someone I've known for more than 20 years. He's done all the big work of renovating decorating and just needs someone to come in and finish and fill it up with appreciative people. I think I can help. It feels good to have a project. I still have some school work hanging over my head but hopefully can do it all with my lovely garden work to keep me sane.
I miss my Roquessels friends terribly, it feels like I have these two lives that are so separate. The lack of phone service and internet for the first few weeks here did not help that much.

Today my decision to move here was abundantly confirmed whilst (I love using that) I visited several artists studios/galleries on the Rock River Artists Tour. It was a love fest of new friends. A not so subtle reminder of why I am here. A community of talented people who value art and good food and gardening and a simple clean lifestyle.  Creating art is valued in a big way and there's a generous wide scope of acceptance of all kinds of choices. I feel home in an unexpected and heretofore unexperienced way.

Demi centennial wishes...

Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you! Dr. Seuss
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_birthday.html

Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you! Dr. Seuss
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_birthday.html

Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you! Dr. Seuss
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/d/drseuss414098.html?src=t_birthday

 

Today you are you! That is truer than true! 

There is no one alive who is you-er than you!

Dr Seuss

Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you! Dr. Seuss
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/d/drseuss414098.html?src=t_birthday

Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you! Dr. Seuss
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/d/drseuss414098.html?src=t_birthday

Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you! Dr. Seuss
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/d/drseuss414098.html?src=t_birthday

Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you! Dr. Seuss
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/d/drseuss414098.html?src=t_birthday

Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you! Dr. Seuss
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_birthday.html

I like the sound of demi centennial, though I cannot find this usage anywhere. I think its sounds kind of glam.
The only thing that comes up with research is an album by Rosemary Clooney. I've always thought she was swell and as a tribute to what ever she did in her demi centennial year I am currently listening to her version of Danny boy.
Birthdays... such a funny thing.
A day of your own.
Your own day.
A time to celebrate you've made it to another year's anniversary of your arrival.
Wahoo!
I do just love thinking about my birthday.
Letting myself really think about what would make me happiest on that day (yes, sometimes it's been a birth week or even a whole birth month has been known to happen, though not for a long time). And as some of you know I am want to do this months before my actual day of birth, and so at 5 weeks out today feels almost last minute.

As I look toward this next birthday of mine,
I'm thinking about how much has changed in these last 2 years...

just how many times I packed up little suitcases
and whole trucks full of my belongings,
how many goodbyes I've tearfully bid,
and all that I've lost,
how many nights I cried myself to sleep,
of how many friends showed up in so many ways,
and of the many new places I've seen
and found within my own self
and also
just how much laughter and joy
and new favorite things I've discovered.

And how at (nearly) 50
I'm wearing a bikini
I'm a granny-twice!

I'm finding out what truly pleases me
I'm always keeping a trip planned for the next season(more on that in a minute)
I put my alone time first
I know how to pack all I need in my new slick backpack
I make time for my writing
I've given myself permission to not be pushing myself to do the next big thing;
open a practice, write for anyone else, get more gardens, even the ever present desire to formally learn more about anything.
Instead I read whatever I feel like... I think currently have 5 books going, at least 4 magazines and if I'm lucky I'll treat myself to the NY Times this weekend. Heaven. 
I've also given myself permission to enjoy, fully enjoy, the right now present moment and whomever happens to be in it with me.
That's all.
No big future plans. Not figuring that out right now.

It's glorious.
No...it's not just glorious, it's happy-making and a fucking miracle.

So halle-freakin-luya and happy birthday to me; I've come out the other side.

On that note I have a request to my beloved friends...
On April 2 I'm headed to Oregon. This is a trip that's been percolating for some months, I thought I might going to Cuba or Scotland but in fact I'm headed to the pacific northwest. That spoke louder and the desire to hunt morels spoke louder still. So off I go and, to my absolute delight, dear sweet P'tricia is accompanying me!
We'll be back on the 12th. But after that I would really love to have some one on one time with all of my peeps. Nothing formal, just time hanging out.

Demi-centennial wishes...
going fishing with Jesse
picnic with P't
skype with Monica- Almost a year without seeing you-I miss you too much!
kayak with Libby
game night with Kate and Lex and Anna
music by Clayton :)
motorsickle ride with my bro
making food with Sas
a corona with Gordo and Coey
a fire with Kevin and Calle
a movie date with my sis
apero with Will and Meredith
shroom hunting with any and everyone who is willing
whatever anyone wants to do avec moi.

So you get the idea, I would love it if any/all of you can help make this happen... I feel so very lucky to have such wonderful loving supportive peeps on my side.
With all of you I am happily looking ahead on this next year of beautiful adventure...